How to Talk to a Loved One About Addiction

Starting a conversation about addiction with someone you love is one of the most difficult conversations you may ever have. You may not be sure how to approach them or how they will react while also dealing with your own feelings and emotions. Knowing how to talk to a loved one about addiction will help the conversation go more smoothly for both of you.

Understanding that Addiction Is a Disease

For those on the outside, understanding addiction is difficult. Your loved one’s actions may feel like a personal attack against you, your relationship, or your family. It may seem like addiction is a choice, and if they truly want to stop, they would.

Something that we all need to understand when talking to a loved one about addiction is that addiction is a disease, and it’s a chronic one that is difficult to put into remission. Disease isn’t a choice, and addiction requires treatment to meet the individual’s needs.

At Massachusetts Center for Addiction, we’re available to answer your questions about addiction and how to get help for your loved one. You can reach us 24/7 at 844-486-0671.

Approaching a Loved One About Addiction

When talking to an addict, you should approach the conversation with empathy, love, and understanding. Here are some strategies to effectively communicate and provide support:

Choosing the Right Time to Talk

Some people avoid communicating with a loved one about their addiction because they’re waiting for the perfect time and place. The ideal moment may never arrive, but you can plan to have this conversation with your loved one at a time when they’ll be receptive.

Choose a stress-free, calm moment. It’s best to avoid starting this conversation when your loved one is usually stressed, such as returning home from work after driving through rush hour traffic. Approaching them on a day off or when you’re enjoying time together sets the stage for a more productive conversation.

Be Honest & Straightforward

The best approach to a difficult conversation is direct, honest, and straight to the point. If you use words that don’t say exactly what you mean and what you’re feeling, the other party can interpret them however they see fit.

Try not to leave your loved one wondering what you’re saying or how you’re feeling. Use direct words. There’s a good chance they won’t want to hear them, but they need and deserve to be said, and doing so lets your loved one know exactly where you stand.

Allow Them the Opportunity to Respond

Emotional conversations can be difficult. Some people tend to ramble on or try to dominate the conversation. Each person must have the opportunity to both talk and listen.

You might also find that your loved one isn’t responsive or shuts down. In this case, don’t give your loved one an ultimatum or try to force them into action they aren’t ready to take. Give them the space to think about what you’ve said; over time, they may become more receptive to seeking help.

Establish Your Boundaries

Providing your loved one with the space to process the conversation shouldn’t be confused with not standing up for yourself or your family. Ultimatums are almost always unproductive, but you still have the right to have boundaries and stand firmly by them.

For example, instead of saying, “You need to get help, or I’m leaving,” a statement like, “I can’t stay in the same house as you and watch you hurt yourself and others” lets them know your boundaries without making them feel as though they’re being pushed into a corner.

Use “I” Statements

Nobody likes to feel attacked or accused, especially someone who is being confronted about their alcohol or drug use. To minimize a defensive reaction, choose “I” statements over “You” statements.

A simple example is this: “You worry me when you drink too much” is a “You” statement. “I worry about the effect alcohol is having on your life.” is an “I” statement that doesn’t place any blame directly on them.

Showing Compassion & Kindness

Showing compassion when discussing addiction is extremely important. Remember that addiction is a disease and that an addicted person deserves compassion, respect, and understanding. They are still the same person that you love and care for. However, they’re currently battling something that, at the moment, feels larger than themselves.

Encouraging Rehab or Therapy

Discuss the importance of seeking professional help through rehab or therapy. Explain that these resources can provide the necessary tools and strategies to overcome addiction. Encourage your loved one to consider treatment options that best suit their needs, whether it be residential rehab programs, outpatient counseling, or support groups.

Consider an Intervention

Finding common ground when talking about addiction with a loved one is something that can be easier when it’s not a one-on-one conversation. An addiction intervention is a way to approach your loved one about their addiction in a way that feels less intimidating for you.

An intervention specialist can help you prepare for the conversation and serve as a mediator. This can help guide the conversation and ensure all parties are respected and heard.

Supporting a Loved One with Addiction

One way you can support your loved one with an addiction is by learning more about the addiction treatment options available to them. At Massachusetts Center for Addiction, we strive to support both the individual and the family during this time. We encourage you to contact us at 844-486-0671 and speak with our care coordinators today.